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Astro Zombie
Well, as of June 4, 2007 at 8:30 AM, I will be employeed at the local lasik center as a file clerk.  My interview went well and Vivian is uber nice.  What are the perks?  Well, I dont have to work but one Saturday every month, it will give me something to do besides sleep until 12:30, I will be getting $10.00 an hour and I will get to wear scrubs.  It is only 4 hours a day, but that gives me $200 a month, roughly and that way I will have some spendies and some to save.  

Along side of getting a good job, I also got my first $50 for Graduation in the mail.  I cannot believe I am graduating, but I think I earned it - especially since I am Magna Cum Laude and number 43.  I know it isnt SUMA Cum Laude and in the top 10, but I am in the top 10% and that is good enough to get me where I need to be in life.  North Lake registration shouldn't be too hard after graduation and then after I figure out my schedule, I can work it out with Tylock and they will fit me in whenever I can come in and work.  Things look like they are starting to fall into the right place...finally and I feel like I have earned this all, too.  If I am wrong, please let me know.  The only thing Amber and I really need to work on now happens to be housing - we both refuse to stay home even though we will be going to a school that is about 10 minutes from our houses.  We are looking at apartments and trying to get all the living arrangements worked out.  Another thing is that we are going to have to have someone co-sign for us and I know her parents wont do it, so it is down to my mom and step-dad or my dad.  It could be a possibility for me to ask Aunt G, but I will keep her as a last resort.  

My emo mood seems to have left and I am happy about that.  I really hate it that my mood fluctuates so much, but I have totally opted out the meds option because I dont want to be fake or numb.  I know, probably not the best move on my part, but I am so anti-meds as it is.  Well, I need to figure out how to get limewire to work on my laptop or try ares.  I am out for now.

Current Mood: frustrated frustrated
Current Music: Emily Loizeau "Je Suis Jalouse"

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It is only Monday and I have to keep telling myself that it will go by faster than I think it will.  When I am at school, time goes too slowly and when I am at home, time goes too quickly.  I can't decide on anything, anymore.  I am fickle.  Things don't seem right, things seem wrong.  

*sighs*  I have an interview today to get a job filing papers at the lasik center here by the school.  I hope I get it.

Current Mood: blank *le sigh*
Current Music: Kill Hannah - Lips Like Morphine

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So, today is low key and boring.  I love AP testing season when I am not in an actual test because it is blow off/make up time.  I am pretty much caught up on everything and now I am looking over the music for tomorrow night's Motown concert with the choir.  It is lots of fun and for sight reading last night, I didnt do too badly on sight reading.  Ther are spots in the music taht are insane, but besides those few spots, it is all good.

I am so tired lately and I dont know why.  All I want to do is sleep right now and usually, I dont care too much for sleeping.  I get really tired in the day and just want to sleep through my classes.  Maybe I have acute narcolepsy?  I dont know.

Current Music: Everclear "I Will Buy You A New Life"

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I just got an email from my mom accusing me of eating her cookies...it was the cats because when I came into the kitchen when I got up, they were licking up the crumbs.  Ugh.  Way to ruin my day.  Just the way she asked where they were was enough to piss me off.

*sighs*

Current Music: Marilyn Manson "Coma White"

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I got a laptop for graduation from dad.
Meh, I feel guilty for it, too.

Current Music: RHPS "Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me"

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We went to the cadaver lab yesterday for our anatomy field trip.
God, it was amazing.
At a mere 55 degrees in the lab and about 45 or 50 in the storage freezer, it had that sweet smell fo death for a little bit because we got to see bodies that werent embalmed.
In the lab, we got to see 4 bodies and numerous other things that had been removed and dissected.  WE saw an enlarged heart, 2 normal hearts, lungs, a liver the size of an entire abdominal cavity, and the 4 bodies.  I touched everthing.  My white lab coat felt too right and I had the urge to steal it.  The lady, who was a mortician, was very funny.  She had a 21 week old fetus that we got to look at and she told us the story behind it and how she used to take it to the high schools with her until one parent complained and she had to stop. Well, she said that we got to see it because we were in her lab and if any of our parents had complaints she said we needed to tell them to get bent.  I laughed so hard.  It was amazing there and I wanted to stay and dissect and poke and prod and explore.

If I become a mortician, it is because of anatomy.

Current Location: Dad's House
Current Mood: calm calm
Current Music: Space Monkey - Placebo

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It is Friday and I should be happy about that, but it seems like I am dreading every weekend that comes because after Sunday, another week is down and I am days closer to graduation and I am minutes closer to being older.  I really dont want time to move on - I want it to freeze for a day or two just so I can reflect a little more.  This summer I have to buckle down even more so I can get a job and save and move out before school starts in September.  Right now, this all seems like too much and I am not good at handling too much at one time.  It feels like I need to just stop for a little while, breakdown and breathe.  

I know, all I do lately is complain about how fucking busy things are and I fear that they arent going to cool down much.

Current Mood: blah blah
Current Music: "Hate Me" - Blue October

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I looked out of the window and the coulds of hell
Welcomed me with solemn gratitude.
"I am in hell..."
Slightly pondering the fact of hell I happened to notice that
Maybe I wasnt where I wanted to be while the clouds
Grew in size
Changed in shape
And acted a chameleon to the weather that quickly approached
To reprieve my senless thoughts the car slipped into gear
"I hate driving in this weather."
Small rain drops, dismal and hopeful, fell
On to the sidewalk a boy fell
My heart fell
Why?
My mood was nothing anymore.
It fluctuates more than the weather here
Lazily, I think about it
From time to time but never really
Care about it?
Talk about it?
With a sigh,
I drove the car into the garage
"Maybe this is the last time..."

Current Mood: blank blank
Current Music: "Follow the Cops Back Home" - Placebo

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Ok - here is my first annoyance of the day.  I was doing some research on natural skin care so I can work on my complexion some and I find a site that looks inticing, like it would have good information, I click on it and it is web-sensed!  Why?  Because it said "Supplements and Unregulated Compounds".  wtf?!!??!?  I can understand this if it had been something like pot or 'shrooms or something, but it was all herbs, KITCHEN herbs.  Jeezusssssssss!!  They always block things that could be useful or could promote actual intelligence.  You know, they have plan parenthood blocked and anything that is pro-life/pro-choice.  They are trying to blind us.  It is the worst thing to be done to our generation and it pisses me off that not everyone knows that it is happening.  *sighs*

There is nothing to do in here with D'Spain gone.  I need to start bringing my books so I can read.  I am currently reading I Shudder at Your Touch: 22 Tales of Sex and Horror.  I cant wait to actually get into it - it souds too alluring.  *shivers*  

I think I am going to try to write for the first time in a while.

later days.

Current Mood: weird weird
Current Music: t.A.t.U - Show Me Love (Extended Version)

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things are weird right now.  i am having ups and downs like you wouldnt believe and i know it isnt helped at all by stress.  why am i stressing?  well, AP season is upon us, final independent study final project is upon us, i need a job, i need to move out, i have to get enrolled, i have tons of shit to do with no time to do it in.  how do people do it every day?  maybe they have a little more perseverance than i do, but either way, how?!

this weekend i have to finish filling out graduation invitations and hopefully get them in the mail, i have to find out if i can make it to my cousins graduation on Friday the 25th, i have to find shoes for prom (which is the 19th), i need to figure out how to do my hair and makeup...the list just keeps going.  i have a field trip friday for anatomy and we are going to the cadaver lab (</3) which means i miss english class 2 days in a row because monday i have my government ap exam.  then thursday i have my ap english literature and composition exam and next week, at the end of testing i have ap economics to take.  then, after that, i am free for the most part.  

i think i am caught up on most things in most classes due to missing monday.  dare i say it was a challenge to make it all up?  i am there though.  today i found out that i am 1. number 43 in my class, 2. in the top 10% and 3. i am graduating magna cum laude.  go me?  i think so.  i was extremly happy and i told everyone...except for mum, but that is soon to happen.  maybe it will put something special in store for me?  i doubt it, but a girl can dream, right?  *see, here is my nutty, messed up train of thought.*

so, in conclusion, i am a rather busy soon to be graduate with a little too much on my plate at the moment.  until next time.

Oh, ps!  my step-gramma bought me cubic zirconia earrings and a matching necklace as my graduation gift.  they were both around $500.  i am ecstatic.

Current Mood: ecstatic ecstatic

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